So as I sit here in my normal office in D.C. this morning, I’m struck by several thoughts. I am moving to Connecticut in TEN DAYS. I am only half-packed up in my apartment. I am anxiously waiting to finish my last day at work though, so that I can have six days to myself to do nothing but organise and pack. I made the decision to move though, in September. I’m TIRED OF WAITING. I want to just MOVE already! Getting to this point from September to now was fine. Now, these last ten days are snailing* by.
*Yes, I just invented that word, but it works because you understood what I meant!
I am not needed in my office. I’ve trained the new girl they hired to take over my job so well that she doesn’t need me. They don’t have enough work for me, but we set my last day as the 7th, and so the 7th it must be. I feel redundant, superfluous, ignored. I should ask my boss if I must really come in the rest of this week or if I could “work from home” or something. Actually, that isn’t a half bad idea, in my head at least. Maybe my boss will go for it. Hmm.
So whither does my mind wander, during all this free time I have? Well, I’m so very glad you asked! I am in a stage I lovingly call “Anxiety Girl Reigns Free.” I get this way when I have stuff to do but have to wait to do it. I over-analyze. I over-plan. I make backup plans for my backup plans. If I were busy working here today, I would not be thinking of my move. But because I’m just sitting here pretending to work, I am mentally going through the dishes in my kitchen, and trying to remember what is mine and what is my roommate’s. I am wondering where my big umbrella is, and hoping I remember to look for it tomorrow. I am wondering how to load the truck the night before we leave, but still pack up my bed because obviously we want to sleep somewhere. Will we use my roommate’s air mattress or the couch for a night? I am going through all my shoes and purses and clothes and wondering if I will be bringing them all with me or maybe I should downsize again.
I’ve moved many times, both with my military parents and in my adult life. I don’t enjoy the process of moving (who does?) but I do enjoy the excitement that comes in starting anew. In this case, I’m making the biggest move of my life (to date) and starting my new life with my Love. My fiancé asked me if I’d consider moving back in August and by September, I made the decision. Here I am. This coming September, we’ll be married and so this is really the first step in our life together. I am excited and anxious.
I’ve never lived so far north before—with my parents, I once lived in Brooklyn, but I lived on an Army base and I was so young, I don’t have too many memories of the area. (I remember my school and my friends and stuff of course, but they are the fleeting memories of a five-year-old.) In a few days, I’ll be a New England transplant. I’ve lived in the south most of my life, and even when I did live in New York and in Northern VA, I was still raised by two Southern Marines. (That could probably be its own blog post…) I’m excited to see more snow than I’ve ever seen before. I’m wondering if February was a silly time to move to the region. (Holy Polar Vortex Batman!)
AND THEN! In addition to planning my move, I’m also in the middle of planning a wedding. So my thoughts are half on moving and half on getting married. “What if the church we want is booked for the ONE DATE that works for the wedding party?” “Should I introduce myself to the rector now, or wait until I move?” “WHAT KIND OF FLOWERS GROW IN SEPTEMBER??” “What if one of my bridesmaids finds a dress in a different purple than the others?” “How much do DJs actually cost?” Now, in case you don’t know me well, I’m mostly being silly here, just wanting to make people chuckle. I don’t want to be a “Bride-zilla.” That just isn’t me. I want everyone to enjoy our wedding and I especially want my fiancé’s personality to shine through the ceremony and reception just as much as mine does. I feel very blessed to be planning a wedding both TO and WITH my best friend.
It will be easier, though, to make wedding plans when we’re in the same state. Right now, Skype just isn’t good enough. We got our engagement photos yesterday and we started playing around with making Save the Dates and a website for our guests (because I feel like we have to coordinate most of the country here…) and stuff. We are agreed, we are very resolute, that the most important part of our wedding is the ceremony. We aren’t getting married just so we can throw a party. We could do without the reception if we really wanted to, and we’d still be happy on the whole. We are throwing the reception so we can celebrate what we are sure will be the happiest moment of our lives (again, to date) with the people that matter most to us. But, as it turns out, the ceremony is the easiest part to plan. The Episcopal Church has done most of the work for us, since they have written out the whole service in the BCP. This is fun. Again, I’m VERY lucky that I have my wonderful fiancé as my partner in all this. He is quite capable of keeping Anxiety Girl at bay. And I Love him.
More on my move later! Wahoo!